Saturday, September 27, 2008

Horse people are horrible people

Thats right, even we hate ourselves!

I remember a few years ago we at our annual trail ride and one person forgot to pick up their poop with bags as dictated in the beginning of the ride.

Me: I told them to pick it up or they can't come on the ride next year!
Friend: it's horse poop just tell the people to kick it. It's just like grass
Me: we are not going to be able to have this ride again if horses are shitting and it's not being picked up.
Friend: it practically disintegrates when you kick it. Try it.

Angry person that has horse poop on the road four blocks from their house: If you are going to use the road pick up your horses poop!!! I don't want to hit it when I back out of my driveway.


We hate eachother, non horse people hate us we all hate us.

We are always squabbling about how mary sue always wins at the horse show and how so and so's horses were not braided right and shmoes horse was dirty and how bob knocked down the soooo simple cross rail.

Us horse people go into a tack store and we are bound to find someone to talk to. As soon as we turn our backs someone else walks in and suddenly we are the light of the conversation. Who knows what we said but sure enough it was something to do with our horses or our order of special feed with 20 salt licks and a fancy shmancy curry comb. I think it's because we are so jigh maintenance or because we love our horses to death.

All I know is I gotta go to the feed store to get wormer. I wonder if they threw out all those wormers that were 6 months out of date from last year?

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Just when you think you did it all right...

Someone comes along and fucks it up royally.

I am talking about horse training and sending a horse you trained to it's owner and then having to go back and fix yet another issue you thought you could solve the first time.

Every issue a horse has can rear it's ugly head a second time no matter how much training the horse has had. I'm talking about the explosive nutcases, the rearers, bolters, buckers, chargers, ear pinners, scardey cats, aggressive, intimidating shit heads that try and turn you into a human lawn dart given the chance.
Just because it was trained doesn't mean the problems are gone forever. If the person who usually handles or rides the horse can't apply techniques to get the horse under control it doesn't matter how long or how much of a big shot your trainer is. Clip clop still knows he can and will overtake you if you can't put a stop to it there and then you'll have repeats at some time in his life. He will try harder and harder until you run back to big shot trainer crying dangerous horse.

A lady line drives my pony. Yes the pony I was talking about a couple posts ago that I luuurrrv well I was going to f-ing kill him today.
It started off innocently enough. I had my first vacation in two years and you would have sworn I was gone for a month instead of a week. I hadn't had time to drive pony until today because of other catching up I had to do. Of course it was also the only day I did not have my helmet with me.
He was doing really good. I had to correct him a couple times for trying to eat grass (strike 1) because I did not want my reins to get stepped on and I did not have a check. He seemed to remember the last lesson on the consequences of trotting when I did not say so. He walked like a little gentleman two laps around the whole field, then it was time for a trot. I found a patch where it was not like a wash board and trotted him up and down it about 6 times. I seen Barb pulling into the farm so I thought I would go back and offer her a ride.
Just about the time we were about to turn home we went over this bump we had hit a hundred times before. He took off like a bat let out of hell bolting. It took every muscle in my body to keep myself from flying out of the cart. The 30 seconds it took for us to get across the field seemed to take an hour. All I kept on thinking about was my friends accident in the spring and being launched like superman onto my head only he had a helmet on; I didn't.
When I finally got him under control I noticed he had his tail under the breeching so I reached forward to lift it up and he did another dash only this one was shorter. Oh boy I wanted to fucking kill him and the woman that line drives him.
She let him eat the hay in the field, I don't. She put him away when he fucked around: I made him work 10X harder for it.

Long story short he was lathered in sweat from running back and forth over that bump by the time I put him away. He also tolerated me randomly touching his tail.

I think I am going to give up on training the horses and start training the handlers.

You know I love that woman some days but mostly she drives me insane. Ah too bad I have a heart.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Random idle thoughts

So I started my two newest courses in the equine science diploma and it got me thinking about a lot of things as one of my courses is journalism.

I took my first vacation in two years. I went up north with my friends and had an amazing time. Check out this real Canadian stop sign we encountered, eh?

Abuse- Is a sin. What people do to horses through intentional actions or plain ignorance is unforgivable. Neglecting to float their teeth, trim their feet or other aspects of equine health care is abuse. Worst of all is the physical abuse that comes from fear. Humans with physical violence towards horses consciously or subconsciously beat their horses out of fear. Fear creates anger, anger creates rage and inhumane treatment. Striking or scaring a horse with an object or ones body in such a way that it creates a fear in the horse is never an aspect of good horse husbandry.

I've seen quite the few horses ruined by trying to use force. Who wins, the 150 pound human or the 1000 pound, gnashing teeth, flailing hooves, swinging neck horse? I think even the cave men figured that one out.

Some people believe wisdom comes with age.
I believe wisdom can come to a person at any age.
It has to do with the experiences you have and what you do in the time you are allowed to experience them in.

On another note we say farewell two two valiant souls. A
good horseman an a hockey equipment guru, Brian Heaton.
He died suddenly at the age of 58 of a heart attack wile at a horse show in London. I had the privilege of riding a few of his horses and they were truely a pleasure to ride. May he rest in peace.

Gazella, a Trakehner mare who always made sure every horse within view knew she was the queen of the barn was euthanised last Tuesday. The vet confirmed she had a couple strokes so it was time to let this 28(?) year young girl go to the big pasture in the sky. No gelding could look at her over the fence without her screaming and stomping in protest. She only ever got along with and could ever be turned out with Shorti who is screaming for her best friend of 15 years to come back. Shorti is turned out with Naigen now but still cries for Giz. I don't think the loss has sunk in.

A friend of mine just found out he was diagnosed with cancer. It is all over his body and he has not been given very long to live. He is a very happy man who is full of life and love. I hope he knows he is surrounded by people who love him even though he never had it written on paper.
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