bitter sweet memories

It's been a year since the start of the worst month of my entire life.
It seems like it was so long ago and just yesterday my life started to unravel starting with Naigen's death and followed by several other friends and family members dying. This was only followed by an endless string of drama and abruptly halted at January 09, leaving me with a bitter taste in my mouth.
I was never an angry or negative person. Never have been but in January I was mad at everything but my horses. Eventually it passed.

To be honest I knew it was December the 4th today, but it never registered that it was really THE FOURTH OF DECEMBER until just now when I walked in and sat down at the computer. I thought about visiting Naigens grave but other things kept me busy, thank goodness.

I've found so many pictures I forgot I had even taken of her. I'll try and post some.

I thought today about little things she did that always calmed me. I never had to worry about her running away when I let her out for grass. She would contently munch and wander and come back to me when I went to go get her.

She never minded being new places. Heres a pretty embarassing picture of me all dressed up in period costume at the john r park for fun and games of the past day. That door open behind us was a pretty dark, scary looking old stall.
Naigen took it upon herself to make it her stall and stood in the doorway and neighed at any visitors walking along the path to her left.
I loved the way she would sigh. You knew everything in her life at that moment was alright. She would inhale twice and then let all her wind out in one long content sigh. Naigen was the only horse I had that I would put in pink. She looked so darn cute and a bunch of little girls were always riding her so it fit perfectly.



Bananas were here favorite treat. The lip smacking sound she made when she ate a banana made me smile. I bought her banana lik-it's and she loved them. Bulk food store made me stock up on dehydrated banana chips, banana candies, banana bread, you name it banana and she loved it.

She was so spoiled. Everyone fed her everything. She was never rude or pushy though but she did have this nicker she would carry on when she knew you had something for her until she got it. It made me give up what treats I had in a second.

You can see her gorgeous long tail here that I worked so hard on to make it, and keep it this long and thick. I have quite the few tricks up my sleeves.
After she was euthanized and lie in the arena Audry and I cut a handful of her tail hair off. I made Robyn (the lady who originally found her), Audry and her granddaughter (who had open heart surgery and learned to ride and confidence on Naigen) each necklaces with an individual silver horse charm. The chains on which the charms hung was Naigen's hair.
Everyone cried when I gave them their Naigen hair necklaces.

I never made one for myself.
I still have the rest of the hair.
I only re-opened the bag I had the hair in last month and ran my fingers through the strands. Her hair always tangled so easily it was always wavy and thick.
I think it's time for me to start remembering my little horse with a piece of horse hair jewelry. I already wear an Indigo necklace often.
What should I make with Naigens hair to remmeber her by?

I think making something finally would be a new good chapter to the end of 09. Already the dark clouds are lifting and I have a feeling this December is going to be better than 08's December. I can only hope as I bundle up and put on my chaps to go face the wind and cold for a night of carriage rides for the BIA in the city. I hope I don't freeze.