Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Kids say the darndest things

They sure do.
My nephew Noah and Suzy, Spring 08

Doing a lot of horse related things (cue hours and hours of public carriage rides here in the city with non nature/animal folk) I get the most hilarious comments.

My favorite is when I am driving and I get someone that knows a tiny bit about horses I start quizzing them on the parts of the horse and carriage and harness. When I get to the tail I say "What about that thing under the horses tail?" They reply "Thats a crupper" and you can almost hear me crack at this point as I exclaim "Yup, but every horses ass knows that" Hahaha bad joke, bad joke. I know you'll use it one day, I know it.

The best comments I get are from kids. About once an event we do in the city I get a kid that looks up at the horse with big eyes, tugs on mom or dads sleeve and asks "Is that a real horse?!"
Poor, uneducated city kids.

Some ask other questions like about shoes, the boys usually ask if the carriage can do a pop-a-wheelie and the girls ask things like if they can be fed carrots or what they like to eat. Sometimes we get the "whats that between their legs" or the classic gelding that makes us turn red in the face "Oh my gosh, his pee pee is HUGE" yes and I don't think your glaring parents are quite as enthralled as you are.

By far I got the best one the other day. It wasn't even from a city kid it made me laugh.

I was driving Indigo down the road (with her new shoes shes doing amazing) to the lane of the neighbors. Theres the neighbors kids playing in their yard. They see me and all scramble to line up at the edge of the road to watch me go by.
I pulled into the lane and stopped Indigo who was having none of this stopping business with all these pesky bugs. Finally she stopped and let the kids pat her and scratch her itches. These are country kids. They do not have horses but they have been to the farm a time or two. They all watch us as we trot away down the laneway.
About 15 minutes later I come back and they form their surprisingly organized line to pet my mare that now is wondering when they are gonna break out the treats.
Then they start with the questions.
"Her tail is long are you going to cut it?" Nope, it's her fly swatter.
"What are those things beside her eyes" Those are blinders or blinkers they help her not be afraid of things like big cars passing her or stuff on the side of the road (Of course I drive all my horses without blinders many times so they definately know whats going on around them and behind them but unfortunately you have to drive with blinders for show)
"How come the things on her feet are not metal?" They are plastic shoes instead of metal
"She looks like shes gonna buck at me" No you don't have to worry about that shes a good girl.

Just as I was about to hit the road and am at the end of the lane one kid pipes up
"Hey miss?" Yeah?
"Don't you have to have an apple on the end of that thing to make the horse walk or go faster" *pointing to the whip in my right hand* Hahahah, no I think you have been watching too many cartoons.

Haha, apparently not all country kids are farm kids.


lisa said...

They sure do say the darndest things!

The Wife said...

Very cute! You just never know what them kiddos are gonna ask.

Sydney said...

I've had them ask some very embarrassing questions and some that I can feel their parents glaring lasers into the back of my head. Silly kids they are only curious ;)

Beans said...

Put horse treats on the end and she'll boot ass probably all the way to china! Cause she's a fatteh. <3 da fattehs!

Sydney said...

LOL she totally would.

Jessie said...

What cute stories! It's so funny what kids will come up with :)

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